antitimelord (
antitimelord) wrote2009-10-23 03:59 pm
Have done with sorrow; I'll bring you plums to-morrow (open to whoneverwas)
With a distinctly disapproving wheeze, a TARDIS materialises, its door drifting ajar. Anyone daring to look inside would be greeted by a scene of utter chaos, even compared to its usual state: everywhere are things piled precariously, books obviously having doubled as serving plates, bowls with teabags still sitting in them, some kind of machinery that appears to be almost growing in the corner. The hollow under the console rather suggests magpies of enormous size have taken up residence; it's a bizarre mixture of torn blanketry, trinkets, and the odd bit of silverware. The very air inside the ship is suggestive of madness.
Nimbly dodging monuments to who knows what deity of mess, Zagreus exits without a backwards glance. "Coming, Charley?"
Nimbly dodging monuments to who knows what deity of mess, Zagreus exits without a backwards glance. "Coming, Charley?"

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No one would be able to pinpoint a source of the voice amongst the chaos, but soon Charley peeks her head over what may be an elaborate pillow fort. (But then again, it's so very hard to tell what purpose most of the things here serve -- perhaps it is something else entirely.) She heads out, side-stepping piles of debris with the ease of someone who's grown quite accustomed to their particular patterns.
Out the door at last, she takes Zagreus' arm and smiles up at him.
"So, where are we this time?" Her voice is practically overflowing with delight.
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"Well, I had thought we might go for ice cream. It's not really a specific setting for a ship, ice cream, but I suspect we'll have done alright. Anyway, isn't it more fun not knowing exactly?"
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A pause as she glances away from him to take in their surroundings.
"And so long as it isn't any terribly strange alien ice cream that does not actually resemble ice cream..."
Don't laugh. Charley speaks from experience.
"Though I must admit... so far this does look promising."
She tilts her head to smile up at him again, all good cheer.
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"Of course it does, Charley. Would I have led you astray?"
So saying, he ushers her into a rather deliberately old-fashioned ice cream shop, with high-backed boothes along either wall and absurdly high tables (with equally absurd stools to match) occupying the middle. The decor is rather dominated with pinks and blues and checked patterns, giving off an aura of somewhat-manic cheer. The range of flavours and mix-ins is quite extensive, and it would take both creativity and a little madness to pose the clerk a stumping order.
"You see? Nothing more alien than fish-shaped candies with a rather alarmingly high mineral oil content. Which...come to think of it, I believe those are actually of extra-terrestrial origin. But quite inoffensive, all the same."
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"I suspect you very well might lead me astray, were it a sufficiently entertaining thing to do. So I should think it never hurts to be cautious."
She peers through the windows of the shop they've stopped in front of.
"It certainly looks like an ice cream parlor. But how is on to be entirely certain?"
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"By sampling the ice cream, of course. Isn't there something you'd like?"
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"Ice cream is always welcome, of course. Mint chocolate chip, perhaps..."
She eyes the multicolored confections behind the counter with curiosity, considering the matter.
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"That's it? Just mint chocolate chip? I imagine we could have found that in the ship, if we could have found the kitchen." His scoff is somewhat challenging.
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"Being as we can't find the kitchen, I should say the point is rather moot, isn't it? But Mint Chocolate Chip is an excellent start. Perhaps with strawberries."
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Zagreus himself indicates a staggering (and somewhat nauseating) gamut of options, definitely including a helping of mineral oil fish. The end result is colourful, yet entirely unappealing. At the clerk's incredulous looks, he nods enthusiastically. Decisions made, he is unable to refrain from hovering over Charley as she ponders.
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"Booth? Or would you rather risk our necks on these death-trap stools?"
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She tilts her head curiously.
"And I had thought they looked rather like fun. I wonder if they spin!"
And with this she sets her ice cream on a table and sits on one of the stools -- purely for the purpose of scientific testing. They do spin! She twirls, giggling with delight.
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"Don't let your ice cream melt, Charley. And if you do take a spill, please leave me the table, if you don't mind."
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"Really, you take issue with the strangest things."
She sits perched very still on her stool as she lets it gradually spin to a stop. She blinks for a moment, watching the world continue spinning even as she sits still. She grins at nothing in particular, a bit light-headed and giddy.
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The last is said with genuine affection.
"I believe you'll find your ice cream to be this way."
Ever helpful, he reaches out to her shoulder and adjusts her direction.
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Spoon still in her mouth, she mumbles, "At least I'm in good company, as I grow to suspect that you're quite mad, too."
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He picks through his amalgamation of treats, sometimes eating a variety at once, sometimes picking out individual flavours and bits, and somehow managing to break neither his eating stride nor his mad grin, a feat which should have cost him teeth.
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"We should have ice cream every day. I don't see why we can't."
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He wonders how long it would be before she grew tired of such a whim, with a sort of sad amusement.
"Don't you think it would rather lose its luster though, after a time?"
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"But it's ice cream," she explains simply, as though this ought to be obvious.
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Much more idly now, even somewhat pensively, he takes another bite. I suppose she might not be able to even realise things like that, anymore. He finds this thought surprising and even a little disheartening. Still, it wouldn't do to turn too concerned a face to this one, not again. Zagreus' only offering is a small smile.
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"Of course I'm right."
If there's anything beyond this exchange than what spoken words would suggest, she certainly doesn't notice it.
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"You're troubled."
She doesn't quite understand it, but she does recognize it. Idly, she strokes her thumb across his skin. He's cool to the touch, too cool, even she knows that... though she's hardly sure what to think of it.
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"Yes. But you needn't be." If indeed her mayfly mind even could be, for long. He swallows ruefully.
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"With all of life before us to taste, to enjoy, to savor... like a spectacularly juicy piece of fruit."
She reaches out to stroke his face again.
"You're lost in worry... but the world is here. I'm here."
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"Is it, Charley? Are you? Can you be sure?"
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"Of course I'm here, silly," she murmurs quietly. "Who else is talking to you?"
She presses her lips to the crown of his head.
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"...My apologies." For losing my grip on myself. And honestly for everything else besides.
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"You worry... because I'm different. Changed so much from what I was."
She recognizes this, of course, but more as an idle curiosity than anything else.
"That... perhaps... I'm not really... me. But..."
Her voice carries a tone of fierce passion.
"Whoever can I be but myself?"
She's desperate to be believed, to be recognized as more than just some... broken puppet.
"All I am now... I was then, too. The... the potential was all there. You simply... brought it out."
At some point, tears started streaming down her face.
"I'm me. I'm me..."
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"Yes, yes of course you are, Charley. There's no one else you could be."
He shushes her, and takes her chin in his hand, meeting her eyes. This likely wouldn't be pleasant.
"The potential was there, yes, but no more so for you than any other human. And for you, the likelihood of that potential ever being realised without my interference would be infinitesimal. You are you, but hardly under natural circumstances."
Even Charley would admit that she had been rather thoroughly...changed. He certainly couldn't deny it. And his responses to it were disturbing to himself.
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Softly, she whispers, "You made me, but you... you miss her. You miss Charley."
If she's crying again, there's no one who can see it, with her face turned towards the floor.
"There must be something terribly wrong with me if I cannot even live up to myself. Even when I'm here I'm gone."
She buries her face in the soft velvet of his coat and her voice, soft as it is, probably gets lost in the fabric.
"Why even make me if you don't want me?"
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"How can I miss you, when you're here, as you've said?"
Now it is his turn to wrap her in his arms, as though this might hold her together.
"It had to be done, Charley. And I don't regret it." He's only half lying, at least.
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"I'm broken. You broke me and now you don't even want me."
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"That's...that's untrue. Untrue and you know it." He doesn't meet her eyes again, and doesn't clarify his statement further, opting to hold her more tightly instead. Oh nothing good could come of this, he could never escape that suspicion.
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But he's mad, she's mad, we're all mad here. Answers are hardly forthcoming.
"Why not just unmake me, as easily as you made me? A broken toy is no fun to play with and there's scarcely a reason to keep it."
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He is shocked into meeting her gaze again. He hopes with quiet dread that that was what she meant; he couldn't possibly destroy her. He shakes his head firmly. None of these are ideas she ought to have.
"My mind's touch can only create madness, not undo it. I...am not meant to make things better any more than you are meant to breathe water. Would you really ask it of me, if I could?"
And wouldn't that have been a pleasant road to travel. Being asked to do the one thing that would guarantee her ill-will once done...and he suspects he might have done it willingly.
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It was just that she wasn't quite certain what to do about it.
She lets her head fall against his coat.
"I want to be me," she whispers. "I want us to have fun together."
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"Then you must not want to be unmade at all. Make up your mind, Charley."
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"And I don't want you to look at me like... like I'm here and not here, all at once. I'd rather anything than have you look at me like that.."
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"How shall I look at you, then?" Something he very much wished he had asked before she went mad. Was driven mad, he corrects himself mentally.
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"You are here, of course. Because of me. Because you had something I needed. And I destroyed it. That's what I can't look at."
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"I don't... I don't think you've destroyed anything..."
This line of thought -- about who she was -- makes her head hurt terribly. But at the same time it seems terribly important.
"It's just gone... twisted."
By way of demonstration, she tilts her head at an odd angle, though she doesn't lift it from his chest.
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But she doesn't have to think about that. Doesn't have to think about who Charley is, who she is. She can just stay here, nuzzling into his chest. With his arms around her, it nearly feels as though she's not on the verge of falling apart. As if she weren't held together by spiderwebs and a single spool of thread. As if she knew who she was.
She lets out a sigh of breath and wonders if imaginary people need to breathe.